Chamonix and I had a discussion last week regarding considerations for children who stutter in this ‘back to school’ season. Below are some of the important parts of our conversation. In Part 1, I highlighted parent-teacher and student-teacher meetings, and suggestions for the teacher.
Disclosure of Stuttering to Others
In a previous AIS Blog post, Chamonix shared that many of our past clients have chosen to self-disclose that they stutter to their class(es). Many have chosen to do this on the first day of class when students are asked to introduce themselves to the others one by one. Some have said something along the lines of, “hi, my name is B-B-Brian and I stutter sometimes, but its no big deal. I-I-I’m also a pretty good b….basketball player.” This is completely up to the child and not for everyone. Some kids would prefer to privately tell the teacher about their stuttering and what could be done to help out in the classroom. This is also self-disclosure. Children who stutter may additionally find it helpful to advertise to their peers individually, so they are comfortable speaking, and stuttering, in social settings.
Teasing and Bullying
One of the biggest concerns for children who stutter in a school environment is teasing. Chamonix and I both work to prepare families for this, and there are a few different scenarios to consider.
When teasing isn’t teasing: perhaps one of the greatest gifts of children is their genuine curiosity. When they hear stuttering for the first time, many children will outright say something like, “why do you talk like that?” It can be helpful to prepare a school-age child who stutters for questions like this. The children that come to AIS have come up with some great ways to respond, such as “I just stutter, its no big deal,” “I stutter sometimes, so I just need some extra time to talk,” or “I was born like this, I just stutter.”
When teasing is teasing (or bullying): This is a hefty sunject. There’s so much variation in every bullying situation and so many factors to consider. Fortunately, the National Stuttering Association has an informative book on this subject called Bullying and Teasing, Helping Children Who Stutter available for only $3. Chamonix and I both find this book very helpful. Based on our experience, we suggest that if parents see signs that bullying is occurring, they first seek to truly understand the situation before responding. If the bullying is involving physical aggression, the response will need to be more immediate and direct. Once parents understand the scope of the aggression, they should immediately talk to their child’s teacher or school administration about the best way to respond. If this is a teasing situation without physical aggression, there are a variety of options. For one, rather than punishing a child for teasing, it is often more helpful for a teacher to sit down privately with the two children to discuss the situation. During the discussion, one child would need to apologize, and the other to forgive. Simply punishing the child who is teasing may cause the teasing to worsen. For more suggestions, check out the book linked above. It’s well worth the $3!
Another neat idea that came up with a recent client was the idea of advertising through technology. This can present an opportunity that may feel more comfortable than face-to-face advertising for some clients.
Mike is very covert about his stuttering. He took a big step and emailed me about his experience afterwards! I’m sure many of you can relate to him.
I was chatting on-line with a girl from yoga (why can’t I avoid these yoga women) and we were talking about my job search. She said I should network more and I immediately realized this was the perfect opportunity to say that my speech therapist recommended the book Smart Networking. She inevitably asked why I’m seeing a speech therapist and I explained that I stutter sometimes. And as strange as it may seem, typing “I stutter sometimes” was as hard as saying it. (I bounced around my apartment, typed the words, and then bounced around my apartment some more.)
But I did feel much better about myself after I said in chat that I stutter. It’s funny because there was a pause in the chat after I wrote “sometimes I stutter” and I was envisioning in my head what she was thinking. But then, like you said, I realized I shouldn’t be assuming what the other person is thinking.
And a while ago I used a text message to advertise to [another woman] that I stutter. You said that was probably a first for your clients. So have any of your clients used an on-line chat to advertise?
Have you ever used technology as a vehicle to advertise your stuttering to someone? Or maybe even to many people at once?
There are many considerations for children who stutter and their parents in this ‘back to school’ season. Chamonix and I recently discussed this matter as we’ve both been addressing this issue with the children and families with whom we work. So, what can students and parents do to start out the school year on the right foot? Below are some of the major points from our discussion. Because there was so much to include on this topic, I’ve split it into two posts. Stay tuned for part two!
Meetings with the Teacher
Parents of children who stutter often find it helpful to set up a meeting with the child’s teacher in order to educate the teacher on stuttering and explain the child’s unique experience of stuttering. This is also an opportunity to give the teacher a few tips on what he/she can do to support their child in the classroom setting.
When possible, we encourage children who stutter to attend this meeting. Some children may even be willing to be the one to educate the teacher about stuttering. That is certainly not required though, as just being present during this discussion can really help the child feel more at ease knowing that the teacher has joined his team of supporters. Before the meeting, it is important to ask the child if there is anything he would want his teacher to know. This can be a great start to planning the parent-teacher meeting.
The concept of student-teacher meetings also applies to teenagers and even college students. In both of these settings, teens or college students may find it useful to privately self-advertise that they stutter and share any preferred classroom considerations briefly before or after class or in office hours.
Classroom Suggestions for the Teacher
It is critical that the child be involved in deciding what to suggest to the teacher. Some kids may prefer what seem to be very minor suggestions. As an example, a child may simply ask that his teacher be a good listener for him when he speaks, even if he is stuttering. As a result, the teacher regularly models for the other students how to respond when a child stutters. Other kids may want the suggestions that appear to be more significant, such as asking the teacher to try and ask him mostly yes-or-no questions in front of the other students so that he is able to answer with few words. For a variety of reasons, a child may not want the teacher to do anything differently because of his stuttering. That’s okay too. It may be enough to just meet with his teacher and let her know that he does stutter sometimes. At the very least, a teacher should always know when stuttering is an issue for one of his/her students.
In a session with Chamonix, Roisin talks about self-advertising her stuttering to patients and co-workers in the hospital, as well as their reactions to her advertising.
As students are heading back to school, one thing that comes up in therapy sessions is the opportunity this presents to advertise, or disclose that one stutters, to the class. Why advertise? What benefits might there be?
No doubt, it can be a scary and adrenaline-inducing thing to do! Here’s a recent email that I received from Shawn who decided it was something he felt he wanted to do and he challenged himself to go for it.
I advertised on Tuesday in my engineering class, which is important because that’s where I would do the most talking. I knew that I had to do it because if I didn’t I would be mad at myself all day. I did it, it was embarrassing. But today when I had the class again I was able to finally participate and carry out discussions in class, and I was probably 95% fluent. So now I’m glad that I did it.
Have you ever advertised to a class that you stutter? If not, would you consider doing it?
